I think I may just have a crush on someone in my school.

Not really a major infatuation so I'm not telling anybody. But there is something.

Good points: he's multi-talented. He can draw and paint and he's in shooting and breakdance and choir. He's a super sweet guy, and has this really cute smile. He's about 3 years older than me. He's our class vice chair - super responsible, super enthusiastic, friendly but not rowdy in the least. I don't think he can really embarrass others by his actions at all.

Bad points: he's Catholic, and I'm Atheist. He's Indonesian. His intelligence level. I don't really know about that though, since scholars are usually really intelligent. But he's like 3 years older than me and in my level. Hmm. Although if I find out he's not actually very smart, this crush will just go away in a flash.

Also today was a brilliant day where he was concerned. He didn't hesitate to sit where I was sitting when I asked if he would like to sit with "the rest of the class", which was just 3 other people and I. He also convinced my other classmate to come over too. He also  offered to help me unwrap my onigiri plastic but I declined because, you know, it's finger food. He talked to me a few times even though it was only about school stuff. When I was having my Chinese class he was walking by and looked through the open door and we looked at each other for those few seconds it was just magic. We didn't wave or even smile at each other or anything (I was just stunned for those few moments), but it was still really great. Also on another day,when I peeked over his shoulder (as I did every art students') to see his drawing, he looked up. I was momentarily stunned so I just said hi and waved my hand. He smiled and waved his hand back at me too, so it wasn't awkward :)

Not telling anybody because it most probably won't go anywhere and I'm just deluding myself thinking he likes me too. More accurately, deluding myself that he just doesn't mind me. I don't know why but I have this crazy thing where I think everyone hates me or something, like some natural law. So I'm just glad that he's acknowledging my presence at all.

Also not telling anyone because I want to make sure it's not merely a crush before I say anything. If in a few months I find that I don't like him in that way anymore, then it would be good for no one to have known about it at all.

I like him in way like I want to spend more time with him around and talk about non school related things but I don't really think we have any fandoms in common at all. Or any interests, really. I just ent him to notice me mire and talk to me more, and see me differently from my purposeful cold unamused exterior armour.

Haha so emo, but yeah that's that.

I was super scared today cos I found out my closest friend in this school had a crush in class (she's in my class too), and I was really worried that her crush was on him. But she told me who it was and it wasn't him and I was so relieved I could have sighed in front of her like that.

Anyway, that's it for the self update! Don't judge me...!! ;)